Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
