hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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