the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
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Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize