Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I want to fling myself into the sun
Randomize
