i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
my liver is dry heaving
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
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