i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
