So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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