I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Randomize
