I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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