I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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