Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
