I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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