He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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