I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
