Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
