I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Let go out that Thursday night!
Yess sounds good, I have to go turn myself in the next day because what happened last Friday.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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