So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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