omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Randomize
