Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
