It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
