There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Can I color on your dick again?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
