just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
Randomize
