you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
