Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
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