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I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
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