normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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