i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
what day is it and did you see me today?
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
