i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
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