I bet he comes in French.
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
