you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
