I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
Randomize
