I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
