we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Randomize
