I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I wish my penis had an off switch
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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