I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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