She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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