OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
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