'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Everything about him screamed your future.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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