What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize