The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
Randomize
