News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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