he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
