Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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