I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
last night I used snow as a chaser
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