Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize