are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
