What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
