but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
