Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Randomize
