I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Randomize
