she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
now i know why i became what i already was.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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