On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
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