Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
