put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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