so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I'd cum for enchiladas.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize
