I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
Randomize
