Question. A woman tells her guy she's on birth control. Stops taking it to have a kid to force the guy to be responsible and with her. What rights does that guy have
None he's f-d
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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