What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
