Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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