I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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