i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
