Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
In other news, I just burned my penis
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
"I wonder if vinegar is some sort of magical hangover cure" "...no I was definitely still drunk and drinking vinegar because I was thirsty"
I basically have the attention span of a ferret on meth when it comes to men
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
