shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Randomize
