go do what you do best...puke behind churches
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
i dont even know how to be here
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
dude. I can hear the air.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
