3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I'm sobbing to NWA
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
